Why Your Argument Won't Work on Me

            Today we will be discussing arguments and why they never seem to convince anyone to change their point of view, no matter how soundly organized and well delivered they may be. First we will need to make a little detour. I invite you to join me as we take a walk in the shoes of Officer Taylor. We will then use his story to see why your arguments likely won’t work on me.

Officer Taylor is 38-year-old man with a wife and two kids and a father battling cancer. He has been with the Springfield Police Department for 7 years now, and despite being completely fictional, has a rich history of travels and volunteer work. Assuming that you are an average person, it stands to reason that this day last year was a typical day for you. For Officer Taylor, however, that day was anything but typical. He usually worked in the afternoons, but traded with a colleague for the morning shift that day, due to a prior obligation. So at quarter to six, Officer Taylor kissed his wife goodbye and headed off to the station.

There wasn’t much traffic that day, but it seemed Officer Taylor would still be late to work. Just two blocks from the station he noticed a small crowd outside of a building. He slowed down to see what was going on and noticed a man standing on the ledge. Officer Taylor pulled over and quickly ran over to the crowd. He told one of the bystanders to call 911 before attempting to talk the man down. He told the man that life was worth living no matter how bad things seem now, but unfortunately, it seemed that nothing could convince the man. He had just lost his wife in a car accident while he was driving, and blamed himself for her death. He felt that this was the only way he could make things right and insisted that no one try to save him. With that, the man closed his eyes and took a step forward. Officer Taylor immediately jumped into action. He ran over to the man and began performing CPR until paramedics arrived. Officer Taylor wouldn’t find out for another week, but he actually saved that man’s life.

When he finally did arrive at work, he was given the option to take the rest of the day off after what he just went through, but he insisted that working would help keep his mind occupied. Officer Taylor would later come to regret that decision though. Not even an hour later a call came in about a religious cult performing animal sacrifices in the woods behind a community park. Officer Taylor and a couple other officers arrived on the scene and began questioning cult leader. He informed them that he had received a divine calling from God to lead a group of followers down the true path to salvation. A path that requires sacrifice, and not just from local livestock. It seems that Officer Taylor and his team were too late, as the entire group had just ingested poison and were minutes away from death. The officers tried to save anyone they could, but nothing more could be done for the members at this point. After the lengthy paperwork was completed, Officer Taylor resigned to issuing a few routine speeding citations before clocking out for the day.

After leaving the station, Officer Taylor made a quick stop at a nearby sandwich shop to pick up a Reuben, his father’s favorite. He then made his way to the hospital. He entered through the parking garage, made the usual left down the long hallway, walked up the three flights of stairs, and passed by the nurse’s station on his way to his father’s room. His father was lying in bed when he walked in, but got straight up to hug his son. The two sat down so Mr. Taylor could eat his sandwich, and talked about the weather, how well the kids were doing in school, and how Mrs. Taylor just got a promotion at the university where she worked. Officer Taylor, didn’t tell his father about the day he had at work that morning, about the awful things he witnessed. When asked, he said it was just another day on the job.

They talked for about an hour before the doctor finally came into the room. Then they both got really quiet. They both knew what was about to happen, but nothing could have truly prepared them for it. The doctor sat down with the two of them and explained the process. He handed Mr. Taylor a few forms to fill out, and wished them both the best of luck. Kind of an ironic thing to say given the situation, but somehow it seemed appropriate.

When Officer Taylor returned home that evening he didn’t say much. He didn’t talk about his day at work, or about visiting his father. He didn’t ask his daughter about how well she did on her spelling test, or ask his wife if she had remembered to finally get her oil changed a thousand miles past due. He just sort of sat around the house. He wasn’t sad or angry, he was barely even present. His wife prepared dinner, but Officer Taylor didn’t eat much. He sat there moving his food around for a few minutes before excusing himself from the table and heading off to the bedroom. He knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep that night, although around three in the morning he did finally start to drift in and out of sleep.

If you are an average person it stands to reason that today was a typical day for you. For Officer Taylor, however, today was the anniversary of the day that his father decided to stop battling cancer. He opted for an assisted suicide and wanted his son to be with him in his last few hours. For Officer Taylor, today was anything but typical.

If you’re still with me, I hope you enjoyed Officer Taylor’s story, and you must certainly be wondering how any of this pertains to the topic I originally introduced. The problem with all arguments, you see, is that they require the recipient to share a common understanding with the person delivering the argument in order to be persuaded. For example, the man in the story that committed suicide saw no value in life. Since the man and officer did not have a common understanding of the value of life, the officer was unable to construct an argument on this basis that would persuade the man.

From a completely nonbiased viewpoint, it would seem that no belief is true and that everything is based around an individual’s understanding of the world. Any argument then, is just an attempt to alter someone else’s understanding to closer align with your own, yet we all feel so compelled to make these arguments anyway. Even with regards to your own person, people often cannot help but to interject their own beliefs. For instance, the man who wanted only to be left to die was saved against his will. Persuading others is innate for most of us, yet if we wish to be successful we need to start framing our arguments to the beliefs of the other person.

Where does this break down? Religion. The story saw a religious belief driving an entire group to mass suicide. The story was, of course, fictitious, but that does not mean that there are not plenty of real life examples of religious extremists taking drastic action in the name of their faith. The problem with religion is that it is not based on logic, it is based on faith. The shared understanding between the two people, then, must be this particular faith rather than an evidence based belief. All arguments become essentially void in the face of “God works in mysterious ways.”

One more point about arguments that we can learn from Officer Taylor, is that they are context based. We can say that life is worth living to a suicidal man, but an old man suffering deserves mercy. So, while you are creating your personalized arguments, remember to also consider the context of the other person’s situation, because there is a good chance that you have never been through some of the things that they have. Before you can hope to have someone else share your point of view, you must first understand theirs.

-AMS