Conformity is not a Consequence of Schools, it is a Lesson

            We have all heard the cynical views of the modern American education system. About how teachers are stifling the creativity of future generations by enforcing conformity, dress codes, and reserved behavior. And to all of those teachers I would like to say… Thank you. Conformity gets a bad rap. Plenty of movies center around the free-spirited protagonist being repressed by the societal norm, only to realize that being different is good. But this is only true to an extent. We like to think of different as good, but we limit our scope to creativity. People who are different trailblaze musical genres, push the limits of what is art, and inspire future generations. But that is only part of the story.

Being in sync with society is good as well. People can empathize with one another. We recognize etiquette and know how to modify our behavior given different surroundings. If you are dining at a fine restaurant in celebration of your fifth wedding anniversary, only to find the patron seated behind you is shirtless and shouting about how the current administration is going to destroy the country, you would certainly not be thinking: “Gee, I sure am glad no one tried to stifle this gentleman’s creativity.”

So, when your child’s teacher complains of them speaking out of turn or acting out such that they are disrupting the rest of the class, imagine yourself seated at an event you paid to attend, where another adult is speaking out of turn and disrupting the presenter. Imagine the anger you would almost certainly feel toward them, and then work with your child on socially acceptable expressions of their creative side.

On that same note, a common theme among adolescent students and their parents today is the oppressive dress codes that schools enforce. And while there is some justification in the claim of sexism in school dress codes, (they should certainly be enforced equally and indiscriminately), it should also be realized that dress codes are not limited to schools. Most jobs, many events, some restaurants, and even public space all have some degree of requirement in an individual’s dress. The only place you are not expected to abide by a dress requirement is your own private property, reasonably concealed from public view. School is no exception, and students should be expected to demonstrate appropriate dress for the setting they are in. Some may disagree, but I feel that most schools have very reasonable dress codes, and the expectation that your child follows it has nothing to do with sexism or body shaming, but rather preparing your child for life. This you may recognize as one of the main goals of schools.

-AMS

In the Absence of Positivity, There is Always Mindful Numbness

            This world would be a great place, if only we were happy always, ever looking forward to greeting a new day, embracing the challenges and opportunities it brings, and looking back on it all with a graceful pride for the growth it has instilled in you. But of course, we cannot be happy always, because we often wake up to days filled with tediousness, on which we look back with nothing but disdain for those that wasted our precious time with a drawn-out lecture, a meeting that could have been an email, or people taking “any questions?” to be a request rather than an opportunity. Some of you may be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel, or at least fake a smile for posterities sake. But meanwhile, the rest of us are struggling to just make it through the day without screaming. At least that would make things more interesting, if only for a moment. So, what do we do. We go into our happy place.

            It’s a defense mechanism really, developed in our childhood, likely while our mothers were shopping at Kohls. The consequence of consciousness is the awareness that we are. And, in the absence of stimulus, we are simply persisting through time, but all the while painfully aware of every moment that we are. To compensate, we fill our time with thoughts, plans, fantasies; we have conversations entirely within our minds; we think about how we would get away with a bank robbery, not that we would ever commit one, but just how we would get away were we dropped into that situation. I have written entire songs, outlined a dozen novels, and designed my future living room. I’ve reimagined my life as if I were born in Vietnam, wrote my constitution were I the founder of a new country, and planned out my three wishes, written in such lawyeristic detail it would foil even the most cunning genie.

            Perhaps this is not your way. Maybe you just stare blankly into space with nothing on your mind at all. But personally, I prefer, and would recommend, mindful numbness. Shut out all of the negativity, the boredom, and the tedium, and relish the quiet time to have with your own thoughts. Maybe it will inspire you to do something when people finally stop wasting your time with forced attendance.

            -AMS

When the News is too New

            Think back to some news headlines you’ve read, heard on television, or were told about by a coworker during a slow day on the job. You will probably recall several titles suggesting some new up and coming breakthrough in healthcare that will spell the end of cancer, or a drastic political shift that will surely turn the tide of the entire nation, or perhaps even a charity that is doing great things to help end world poverty. Now think about the people that are still being diagnosed with cancer, the senators who are still voting in Trump’s favor, and the billions of people around the globe who are still struggling with crippling poverty. There seems to be a discrepancy here. I swear I remember reading in the second sentence of this post that we just fixed all of those things. Why are they still a problem?

            It turns out change is slow, and the news is on too damn often. For anyone in a long-term relationship, marriage, domestic partnership, or just has a roommate who is home all the time, you know that after a couple days of talking to each other day after day, you occasionally run out of new things to tell them.

“How was your day?”

            “Well, I had the day off of work, so I stayed home, and binge watched the first four seasons of Friends while eating cereal out of the box.”

            Yes, in this scenario your roommate is a complete deadbeat. But the point is, there is only so much going on in the world to talk about. Sometimes you hit a lull. The news is no different. If they actually did cure cancer, every news station would be reporting about it for weeks, but you can only cure widespread disease states so quickly, and so the rest of the time they just throw in little breakthroughs, or even just promising outlooks that haven’t actually been fully tested yet, because what else are they going to say. This Just in, Cancer is Still NOT Cured.

            The same goes for every facet of life. There may be some political shifts here and there, especially amid a small sample of a population, but for the most part, people stay just as aligned with their politics as they always have. Large shifts in ideals take place over generations. Millennials are clearly more accepting of gay marriage than baby boomers were, and we’re all more open to exposed legs than the people of the fourteenth century. Change happens, but it is not this overnight shift they try to portray. In the meantime, the news is stuck reporting on how people today have a less negative view on marijuana, although when it comes down to a vote, we see that plenty of people are still opposed to its legalization. There is simply not enough news for the news, just enough for an enticing headline.

            -AMS

Your Doctor Doesn’t Know Which Medications You Take and Jose Doesn’t Live Here Anymore, Stop Sending Me His Mail

            We live in a fractured world. I’m not taking about morals, values, classes, or anything like that. I simply mean that there is no communication between organizations and no central reporting of information, meaning that for most things, you have to answer the same questions over and over and over and over and over again. For example, your physician, dentist, optometrist, pharmacist, and any other healthcare provider you see will ask you many of the same questions: do you have any allergies, do you smoke, do you have any chronic health conditions, etc… But despite the first provider having most of the information that all subsequent providers need, they ask you again separately. And if you change dentists, be prepared to answer all of those same questions yet again. And you will need new x-rays too, because the first dentist isn’t going to share those with the new dentist.

Perhaps it is a result of the American phobia toward all things centralized, despite the obvious monopolies that rule the world, or maybe it is just that nobody ever thought of unifying all of this information, although that is obviously not true, because Google and Facebook are already doing it, just for the purpose of trying to sell you things rather than make your life any easier. This isn’t just some idealistic dream either, other countries have implemented many such central databases. Let’s compare, shall we.

In the United States we have a process called medical reconciliation. This is when a health care provider attempts to create a consolidated list of your medical conditions, which medications you are taking for those conditions, and at which dosages. Let me emphasize that this process should be entirely unnecessary and exemplifies everything that is wrong with our fractured healthcare system. The reason we must have it is because when your heart doctor changes your blood pressure medication, he doesn’t tell you primary care provider, who continues to send in prescriptions to your local pharmacy, but you actually use a mail order pharmacy now, because your insurance prefers it, (requires it or they won’t pay for your medications), but, you forgot to tell your local pharmacy so they continue to fill medications for you, and in the transfer to mail order your cholesterol medication got overlooked, so you just haven’t been taking that one, and so when your hospital doctor asks you what medications you take, you just look at him confused and say “shouldn’t you know all of that.” Yes, they should, but no, they do not, in fact, not one of those groups I named does, because everyone was missing at least one piece of the puzzle. Conversely, Denmark has the National Health Service Prescription Database. Just like it sounds, it is a national database of all prescriptions an individual fills at any pharmacy in the country. Now, this doesn’t guarantee that the patient is taking all of their medications like they are supposed to, but at least the doctor knows what they are supposed to be taking.

Okay, you said the world was fractured, but all I’ve heard are healthcare examples. Don’t worry I have others. Healthcare is the most consequential, but let’s look at one that would be much simpler to fix. When was the last time you got someone else’s mail? I don’t mean the mail carrier put it in the wrong box. It was addressed to your home address but had someone else’s name. Or maybe you get calls every other day from a car dealership trying to reach Tiffany Hays. People move, people change their phone carriers, and the people that inherit their old addresses or phone numbers also inherit all of their old contacts that they forgot to update. How do we fix it? Stop addressing mail to addresses and start addressing it to individuals. Give everyone a national postal number. This number is yours and does not change. When you order a product, instead of a shipping address you put in your postal number. If you want to send your grandson a birthday card, just write his postal number on the envelope. Here’s the kicker, if you move, contact the post office, tell them your postal number and new address. Congratulations, you have just updated your address with everyone. Phone numbers would be a little more difficult, but certainly doable.

I know what you’re going to say, I can hear the protests already. Like I said, the United States seems to have this ingrained hatred of all things centralized. You know, it’s all about the free market and whatnot. But let me remind you, that the abuse is already here. Google already tracks your internet activity. Everything you post on social media or watching on your streaming network of choice goes into an algorithm. These companies know way more about you than just where you live or what your phone number is. And that information is superfluous anyway. Solicitors don’t care who lives at a particular address, they just send out promotional mail to everywhere. At least with my method you wouldn’t have to get other people’s junk mail on top of your own.

-AMS