In the Absence of Positivity, There is Always Mindful Numbness

            This world would be a great place, if only we were happy always, ever looking forward to greeting a new day, embracing the challenges and opportunities it brings, and looking back on it all with a graceful pride for the growth it has instilled in you. But of course, we cannot be happy always, because we often wake up to days filled with tediousness, on which we look back with nothing but disdain for those that wasted our precious time with a drawn-out lecture, a meeting that could have been an email, or people taking “any questions?” to be a request rather than an opportunity. Some of you may be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel, or at least fake a smile for posterities sake. But meanwhile, the rest of us are struggling to just make it through the day without screaming. At least that would make things more interesting, if only for a moment. So, what do we do. We go into our happy place.

            It’s a defense mechanism really, developed in our childhood, likely while our mothers were shopping at Kohls. The consequence of consciousness is the awareness that we are. And, in the absence of stimulus, we are simply persisting through time, but all the while painfully aware of every moment that we are. To compensate, we fill our time with thoughts, plans, fantasies; we have conversations entirely within our minds; we think about how we would get away with a bank robbery, not that we would ever commit one, but just how we would get away were we dropped into that situation. I have written entire songs, outlined a dozen novels, and designed my future living room. I’ve reimagined my life as if I were born in Vietnam, wrote my constitution were I the founder of a new country, and planned out my three wishes, written in such lawyeristic detail it would foil even the most cunning genie.

            Perhaps this is not your way. Maybe you just stare blankly into space with nothing on your mind at all. But personally, I prefer, and would recommend, mindful numbness. Shut out all of the negativity, the boredom, and the tedium, and relish the quiet time to have with your own thoughts. Maybe it will inspire you to do something when people finally stop wasting your time with forced attendance.

            -AMS