Fake News

            Meet Tom. Tom stays up late most nights. Tom spends an average of six hours a day on his computer. Tom has a part time job where he works about fifteen hours a week. Tom is often offered to cover others’ shifts, but he refuses them because he does not have the energy to work any more hours. He does not work out and spends the majority of his day sitting down.

            Meet John. John wakes at 5:00_AM every day. He puts in a good sixty hours a week at his job at the factory. He really depends on the overtime to keep his family financially secure. John does not keep many hobbies. He is often too tired for such things after his long days of physical labor.

            Meet Zack. Zack spends more time playing video games than not. During those rare hours where Zack is not playing video games, he occupies himself on his computer developing logos, updating social media, and connecting with others via the internet.

           

These are loaded paragraphs. Descriptions that, while accurate (albeit fictional), are purposely kept vague in order to misconstrue the truth for the purpose of creating dramatic effect upon the unveiling of further information. Most of you are probably thinking, Tom is lazy and should probably work more hours, be a little more active, and spend less time sitting around on his computer. Really, he should be more like John. John is industrious and sets a prime example of dedication and work ethic. Zack, on the other hand, he is a lost cause who needs to get a job and, presumably, move out of his parents’ house.

            Meet the real Tom. Tom is a graduate student studying biochemistry. He spends an average of six hours a day reading recent literature online and running simulated models of the interactions between organic pollutants and common components of human tissue in order to better understand the implications of popular commercial manufacturing processes. He often gets so caught up in his work that he does not make it to bed until the early morning. He works a part time job in order to supplement the small stipend he receives from the university. However, given the number of hours he puts in at the lab, he does not have the energy to work much at his second job, let alone find time to himself to work out.

            Meet the real John. John was a high school dropout who did not devote much time to school. He spent his younger days playing video games and hanging out with his friends. He thought school was a waste of time and dropped out junior year to have more time to himself. A few years down the road John matured, met a nice woman, and started a family. Given his lack of qualifications, however, he was forced to take a demanding job at a factory. The pay is not great, and as such he depends upon overtime pay just to make ends meet.

            Meet the real Zack. Zack runs a video game review vlog. He spends most of his day recording content to upload to his website. When he is not recording content, he is working on designing logos for his brand, reaffirming his social media presence, and making connections to further spread awareness of his site. Zack has single handedly created a fairly popular site, and, taking in ad revenue, has managed to become self-sufficient. He owns his own house and pays into a retirement plan.

Bias is easy and does not require lying. Context is everything. Why is there so much fake news out in the world today, because no one has the time or energy to critically evaluate everything they hear, read, or see for the true context. Unfortunately, it seems, neither do the reporters, or perhaps it is simply that everyone has an agenda. The solution? Mistrust everything. That seems extreme. How about something less cynical. Unconvicted acceptance. The only thing I know for certain is that nothing is for certain. Mayhaps we will one day be rid of even death and taxes.

-AMS

We All Know Someone Who...

We all know someone who drinks hot coffee in the summer heat

We all know someone who never wears coats in the winter

We all know someone who is great company but schedules farther out than a Canadian doctor

We all know someone who could start up a conversation with a deaf Chinaman

We all secretly envy this person while laughing off our own social ineptitude

We all know someone who is always down to get some food

We all know someone who is vegan

            We didn’t ask, but they made sure to tell us

We all know someone who “never really got into Pokèmon”

We all know someone, to whom the words “to who,” sound like nails upon a chalkboard

We all know someone who always has a book in their hand

We then say, “I should really read more,” before completely forgetting about it five minutes later

We all know someone who burns on a cloudy day

We all know someone who wants eight children

We all know someone who loves their dog more than their spouse

We all know someone who identifies as a couple

We all know someone who really, really likes milk

We all know someone who is perfectly pleasant, but the sound of their voice annoys us to no end

We all know someone who writes without an agenda

We all know someone who ambiguously refers to themself despite the obvious identifiers

We all know someone who restates themself to overstate the understated

We all know someone who speaks exclusively in movie quotes

We all know someone who can’t see the box we’re pointing out

            It’s right there under the table

We all know someone who swears they’ll remember this time

            They won’t

We all know someone who believes in ghosts

We all know someone who is just a little bit ignorant

We all know someone who knows someone a little bit famous

We all know someone

And we are all someone, who someone else knows

-AMS

The Impedance of Perfection

            Perhaps this is a personal trait, perhaps it is common. But one thing is for certain, beginning is always the most difficult step. This applies to most things, but specifically I am talking about the process of making something… anything. Anytime you set out to produce something, tangible or not, the most difficult place to start is the start. So we plan. We think, and we ruminate, and we jot down notes, and we make schedules, and we imagine what it will be like when it is finished, and we even think about what we will make after we are done making the thing we have not yet started making. We have a whole series of books planned before chapter one ever gets written.

            We plan because it is easy and makes us feel accomplished, and to some extent it is very necessary. If you try to write a novel with a vague idea in mind and no plan you probably won’t end up with a very coherent story. Conversely, if you never begin writing the novel in the first place all you will have is a story about how you were going to write a novel but never got around to it. This is a tired story, let me tell you. But we can’t ever seem to bring ourselves out of the planning phase and into the actual implementation. The problem, I believe, is that we are impeded by the idea of perfection. This is our first novel and it has to be just right. Of course the novel to which I keep referring is a metaphorical novel that you can replace with whatever project you’ve had simmering for so long now that you forgot you even owned a stove. Yes the metaphorical novel is now a metaphorical porridge, it seems fitting with the just right thing I mentioned earlier.

            But while we are so meticulously planning our children’s book about anthropomorphized bears living in the woods and mastering the art of cooking, giving no credence to the concept of editing, we hesitate to ever move forward with the initial sketches because we do not want to do a disservice to the distinct blending of blondes and browns that characterize papa bears coat. Don’t worry it is faux fur coat he purchased from a fair-trade dealer, papa bear is quite progressive. So quit worrying so much about whether momma bear should wear Nike or Reebok and just do it.

            -AMS

It’s a Small World… It’s Only 8.5x10^22 Times as Large as You

            Have you ever heard the phrase “it’s a small world?” If you are in the profession of pharmacy, you hear it daily. It’s kind of our thing. We even have shirts. You think I’m just being emphatic, but I actually do have that shirt. Anyway, this phrase is pretty poorly understood in my opinion, so I thought I would explain it. The truth is, it is very much not a small world. The world is quite large. You will never see all of it, and other than what you learn about space it is all you will ever really know. So why do we insist it is small. Because we are not actually referring to the world, we are referring to our individual worlds. Our little bubbles we live in. Those are quite small. This effectively makes the world seem smaller because we forget that all of those things and people we don’t know are still out there.

            For instance, you meet a new acquaintance, and after getting to know one another, you realize you each have a mutual friend. You comment on how it is a small world, but in reality, it was very likely you would have a mutual friend all along. I did not give you any context, but when you met this new person, you were most likely somewhere significant to you personally. Perhaps you were at work, a social gathering, or a venue which hosts whatever hobby it is you might have. In any case, unless you were wandering around a field, you have some connection to this setting. And if you were wandering around a field, and met another person wondering around that same field, you likely have a mutual friend who also enjoys wandering around fields. The point is, our connections are likely to be involved in similar activities to us, as that is how we met them in the first place, and it is no wonder then, that there would exist further connections within that same realm.

            Even outside of your normal social context, say for instance you were dragged to an opera at the local theater by your significant other, despite you despising opera. Even in this foreign context you are still in a proximal location. You might see someone familiar owing simply to the fact that you are in the same city. Conversely, if you went to a traditional Italian opera in Italy while on vacation from your hometown in Appleton, Wisconsin, you would be hard pressed to find anyone who could point out Wisconsin on a map.

            When we stay in our familiar, little bubbles, it leads us to believe that it is a small world, when in fact we forget about the rest of the world that does not enjoy that same things as us, does not live in a proximal region to us, or does not even speak the same language as us. It makes us yell at the pharmacist who tells us the current wait time is an hour, because we forget about the other thirty people who also came from the ER in a great deal of pain to the only pharmacy open at 10:00 p.m. on a Sunday. It makes us question how a politician who openly boasts about their horrible policies could get elected because we forget that there are people who actually agree with those horrible beliefs. Of course in the United States’ presidency, it is due to an unrepresentative distribution of electors, but that is another issue entirely. The point here, is that we convince ourselves it is a small world, when in all actuality it is anything but.

            -AMS

Socially Acceptable Milkshakes

People eat garbage… and lots of it. Now, you shouldn’t judge someone for what they eat, just like you shouldn’t judge someone for smoking or using recreational drugs, but neither should those individuals feel shameless for what they are eating/smoking/injecting. If you feel that this is not an apt comparison, each scenario is a person consuming a substance which is killing them, just at varying speeds. And while milkshakes might take their sweet time (pun definitely intended) compared to heroin, it is also much easier to give up milkshakes than it is heroin. Yes, yes, I know, there are those news reports distorting scientific studies that claim sugar is addictive. In actuality consuming sugar just activates the dopamine, “reward” pathway in the brain. Lots of things can activate it, but none are quite as efficient as opioids, certainly not sugar. So do you feel good when you drink a milkshake? Yes. Do you get the shakes if you go 8 hours without one? Probably not.

            So why am I shaming milkshake drinkers? There is nothing wrong with an occasional milkshake. In fact, they are one of my favorite treats. My problem is with the social acceptance of drinking milkshakes. Now you’re probably thinking, I don’t even remember the last time I saw someone drinking a milkshake, it’s certainly not a common sight. This is another part of the problem. Part of the reason we eat so much garbage is that in addition to all of the garbage produced, companies also make garbage that looks like real food. People rarely make the food they consume anymore, and if they did, they would realize how absolutely horrible some of it is. For instance, say you have an 8oz glass of iced tea and would like it sweetened. Would you add one teaspoon of sugar or two? If you answered five, congratulations you’ve made commercial sweet tea. Things like sugar and oil are greatly utilized in food because they taste good. This is kind of a big selling point with food. However, if you saw the actual proportions being used you would be able to gain a perspective on how much some foods rely on sugar or oil alone, and how little they utilize the flavor of the food itself.

            Okay, back to milkshakes. By this point you are surely wondering where I am going with this. A long-held gripe of mine is people who falsely claim they like coffee. I know I’ve lost you again, but just stick with me it will all come together. If you don’t like coffee that is fine don’t drink it. I’m merely saying don’t lie about it. And here at last is my point. Just because coffee is an ingredient, doesn’t make it coffee. Coffee ice cream is not coffee, nor is a blended coffee drink that is mostly sugar and cream. That is called a milkshake. Now tell me how many people you see everyday drinking milkshakes. How many people, at 8 in the morning having a milkshake on their way to work. How many people drinking two or three of these a week. If I did that with a conventional milkshake, of course I would be judged by those around me. Yet when we pretend that it’s coffee, it’s okay.

            -AMS