01 May 2018

Socially Acceptable Milkshakes

People eat garbage… and lots of it. Now, you shouldn’t judge someone for what they eat, just like you shouldn’t judge someone for smoking or using recreational drugs, but neither should those individuals feel shameless for what they are eating/smoking/injecting. If you feel that this is not an apt comparison, each scenario is a person consuming a substance which is killing them, just at varying speeds. And while milkshakes might take their sweet time (pun definitely intended) compared to heroin, it is also much easier to give up milkshakes than it is heroin. Yes, yes, I know, there are those news reports distorting scientific studies that claim sugar is addictive. In actuality consuming sugar just activates the dopamine, “reward” pathway in the brain. Lots of things can activate it, but none are quite as efficient as opioids, certainly not sugar. So do you feel good when you drink a milkshake? Yes. Do you get the shakes if you go 8 hours without one? Probably not.
            So why am I shaming milkshake drinkers? There is nothing wrong with an occasional milkshake. In fact, they are one of my favorite treats. My problem is with the social acceptance of drinking milkshakes. Now you’re probably thinking, I don’t even remember the last time I saw someone drinking a milkshake, it’s certainly not a common sight. This is another part of the problem. Part of the reason we eat so much garbage is that in addition to all of the garbage produced, companies also make garbage that looks like real food. People rarely make the food they consume anymore, and if they did, they would realize how absolutely horrible some of it is. For instance, say you have an 8oz glass of iced tea and would like it sweetened. Would you add one teaspoon of sugar or two? If you answered five, congratulations you’ve made commercial sweet tea. Things like sugar and oil are greatly utilized in food because they taste good. This is kind of a big selling point with food. However, if you saw the actual proportions being used you would be able to gain a perspective on how much some foods rely on sugar or oil alone, and how little they utilize the flavor of the food itself.
            Okay, back to milkshakes. By this point you are surely wondering where I am going with this. A long-held gripe of mine is people who falsely claim they like coffee. I know I’ve lost you again, but just stick with me it will all come together. If you don’t like coffee that is fine don’t drink it. I’m merely saying don’t lie about it. And here at last is my point. Just because coffee is an ingredient, doesn’t make it coffee. Coffee ice cream is not coffee, nor is a blended coffee drink that is mostly sugar and cream. That is called a milkshake. Now tell me how many people you see everyday drinking milkshakes. How many people, at 8 in the morning having a milkshake on their way to work. How many people drinking two or three of these a week. If I did that with a conventional milkshake, of course I would be judged by those around me. Yet when we pretend that it’s coffee, it’s okay.

            -AMS

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