A Metaphor

            The scene: a dialogue between Matt and Brian, two coworkers at a chain retail store.

            “Hey Matt, aren’t you excited for Christmas.”

            “I mean, we get the day off of work, so that’ll be nice.”

            “Yeah, but also Santa Claus!”

            “I thought you didn’t have any children.”

            “I don’t”

            “Well then, what are you so excited about Santa Claus for?”

            “Free presents, of course. Last year I got a brand-new sofa.”

            “From… Santa Claus?”

            “Yeah, what did you get?”

            “Um…. Nothing.”

            “Nothing? Were you bad last year?”

            “What? No. Do you seriously believe in Santa Claus?”

            “Of course I do. Do you not?”

            “No. I mean, it’s Santa Claus, he can’t possibly be real.”

            “Why not?”

            “He’s a man that lives at the north pole and flies around in a sled pulled by magic reindeer delivering presents to millions of people over the course of one night. He even gets in by going down the chimney. Do you really think he brought that new sofa of yours down the chimney? It’s simply not possible.”

            “Anything is possible.”

            “No offense, but how could you believe in something so farfetched?”

            “You just have to have faith. And if you do, you get rewarded with presents every Christmas.”

            “Do you really think it’s Santa bringing you those gifts every year? I mean, it’s probably just your parents.”

            “But my parents are the ones that taught me about Santa in the first place.”

            “Exactly. If I were to tell you now, as an adult, that there is a magical bunny rabbit that, one day out of the year, delivers baskets of candy and colorfully painted eggs to people, what would you say?”

            “I would say that is ludicrous. Santa is the only one that brings people presents every year. Besides, there is so much evidence that Santa is real.”

            “Like what? No one has even seen him before”

            “Well yeah, he comes when your sleeping. Besides, he would just disappear back up the chimney. And then, you might not get your presents.”

            “If you want to believe in Santa Claus, go right ahead. It doesn’t affect my life any.”

Brian would go on to teach his children about Santa Claus, live his life according to Santa’s “naughty and nice” policy, and even advocated for a law that would protect the right of believers in Santa Claus to refuse offering products or services to people, who might be using them for Easter, or other anti-Santa purposes.

            In this day and age, why are we still pulling punches. Believe what you want to believe, but realize that, to nonbelievers, this is what it sounds like when you attempt to justify legislation with non-evidence based beliefs. Also, no one is making you sell Easter candy, but if I want to buy your Christmas candy to put in an Easter basket, it’s not hurting Santa and it’s not hurting you, so let’s stop with the blatant discrimination. Thanks.

            -AMS