Would You?

It seems like such a simple question, right? Would you? Anyone who has played a good game of would you rather, however, knows differently. Often times, the choices involved in would you make the outcome far less than clear. Additionally, in the real-world outcomes are not readily handed to you. It is your responsibility, to the best of your ability, to determine the outcomes of your options, and use those to make a decision. Suddenly “would you?” has become a very complicated question.

            Why is it, then, that people are so eager to purport what they would have done with respect to someone else’s, perhaps poor, choice. “Well, if I had been there, I would have jumped in front of the shooter to protect that child.” “If I moved here from another country, I would learn English, get a job, and support my family on my own dollar” “I would have never tried heroin in the first place.” The truth is, active shooters are scary and fear can be paralyzing, learning a language is hard and finding a job in a country in which you are not fluent in the language can be even harder, rarely do people just decide to spontaneously try heroin, there is usually a host of influencing factors and a progression of less serious decisions, and, just in general, it is difficult to predict human behavior absent the circumstances in which the situation is taking place.

You might say, “who knows me better than myself?” but realistically, we are poor judgers of our own actions. A friend or relative, or even a statistical probability based on your demographic is probably more likely to accurately predict your behavior than you yourself. Are you going to be able to quit smoking? You say yes because your excited about quitting. The idea is fresh and nothing is going to stand in your way. Of course, you do not see the tediousness of quitting that is day five. You only see the present and you are sure you can quit. Your friend who has already witnessed four failed quit attempts, however, is less than convinced. Statistically speaking 60-80% of formal smoking cessation program followers fail to quit, and 95% of individual attempters fail. But you know you better than I do.

People wonder why drug users won’t get clean. Even after all of the horrors they have likely witnessed, all of the medical complications they have faced, all of the acquaintances, friends, or even family, they have had die due to drug complications, why don’t they just get clean. I would stop using after that. They say, completely devoid of reference. Remember that last paragraph? Even with a formal smoking cessation program, 60-80% of smokers are unable to quit smoking for a year or more. You ask why the heroin user keeps going back to heroin, but we can’t even get the casual cigarette smoker to stop.

Now, all of the non-drug using, non-smokers out there may be feeling superior right about now, but there are plenty of other examples, and I am sure I can find one that will stick to you. Are you overweight, just eat less. Most medical guidelines recommend 45 minutes of vigorous exercise 4-6 days a week for otherwise healthy adults. Maybe you didn’t know that, but now that you do I expect you’ll start tomorrow and continue indefinitely. How is that novel/album/DIY project/<fill in end goal here> going?

My point is, we all say we are going to do things that never get accomplished. So, before you say, “I would,” ask yourself, “would you? Would you REALLY?”

-AMS